Art’s connect to my state of mind

I first started painting when I was 15. My tuition teacher’s sister showed me a beautiful oil painting. I was stumped by the details.

Come and join, she said. I asked my father and he gladly agreed. I used a pre-primed hardboard offered to me by my teacher.

I bought some colours, linseed oil, brushes, a glass palette and I started by journey into the world of painting. I even got kerosene from the ration shop to clean my brushes.

For my first ever oil painting, I chose a small card with a sunset scene. This was the age of no mobile phone for reference image. Why are you taking such a difficult painting, my sir asked. I just liked it- sunsets are always soothing. My teachers were an old couple.

I did one class a week, and sometimes two- considering that oil paints take a hell a lot of time to dry. You want to finish it, but it will bring that element of patience in you- you wait, and the entire waiting period you have something to look forward to. After eight weeks, I completed it, and my sir was very happy- you took the most difficult one, and did it very well, he said.

After that I never painted. Studies, career, travel ate up all my time. Art was not there anywhere on my mind.

During the pandemic, I decided to pick up my brushes again. And in my quest to experiment various mediums, I tried watercolours, soft pastels, charcoal, pencil, oil colour (still my most favourite medium), acrylics. I was stumped looking at the number of products in the art market, and the sky rocketing prices of canvas, papers, brushes. Painting for me was simplistic, not fancy.

When I started watercolours, I had multiple failed attempts. Watercolour is all about timing, and planning and execution- most importantly, techniques matter. I did watch a lot of youtube videos, but then I am not someone who likes to learn from these online mediums. On instagram, I found Manju Panchal, an experienced artist. After ardently following her pastel, pencil, and watercolour, I wrote to her, saying I can never get watercolours the way she does.

Before I knew, she became my mentor, who selflessly gave me time for improvising my art work. Thank you is not doing justice to people who come and guide you, tell you everything they did, the mistakes, the learning, and what works. For someone to share their knowledge to a complete stranger on instagram is a lot.

Manju told me what brushes to buy, what colours, which paper, and slowly I saw myself improving. I had given up on watercolour. Almost. I thought it was not for me. But not anymore.

Manju and I discuss art- lot of times. Most of the times I listen with rapt attention and do justice to the time she gives me by practicing what she teaches.

The days I’d not get the art piece right, I’d be dejected, unless I saw a You tube video where a prominent artist Zbukvic put up all his paintings that were not good. Then, I heard about how artists, even professional, don’t always get it right. Some days, the art is masterpiece, the other days, they are not.

This is precisely what I also felt. There are some days when I paint, and it is a disaster. Earlier it used to demotivate me, now I pull those sheets and move on.

When I don’t feel like pulling my all my brushes, colours on my desk, I sit and sketch. I pick a medium with my intuition.

“Also, how my art turns out is a reflection of my state of mind. My art defines my average day, good day or pathetic day. I use it as a self-assessment tool to gauge my state of mind. To perhaps plan my day, and decide to chill, work or let go, or do something else.”

Art has made me feel calm, sane. It helps me deal with one day at a time- living in the moment.

Another thing is the connect between the medium of art and philosophy of life. Where acrylics and watercolours are not forgiving, oil painting is. When you master watercolours, there is this sudden high. Watercolours, philosophically, for me, trains me to plan, prep and act.

Rather than 20 minutes of meditation, nowadays, I paint or sketch for catharsis. It helps me balance my state of mind and retain silence and calmness- a process that is core for art, and for life.